After 2 days of them trying to stop labor, my water started leaking. So they waited 24 hours to see if labor would progress. (Now that my water had broken, they said it was safer to deliver early than risk infection.) So when nothing happened, and my waters were still leaking, they hooked up the pitocin. It was 9am on June 5th. Keep in mind that they hadn't let me eat this whole time, and I'd hardly slept.

I did fine the first 6 hours or so... then the contractions really started to wear on me. The nurses commented that it was the highest dose of pitocin they'd ever seen someone get... well, what did they think I'd need!?!? They'd just spent the last 3 days giving me drugs to stop the contractions, and now they wanted them to just start up again!

At one point I rang for the nurse and said I really had to go bathroom... well, by the time she got all the IV's and junk out of the way so I could go, I stood up and pooed all over the floor! I wanted to die! After the nurse cleaned that up, the doctor comes in and says I am not progressing, so he wants to give me an epidural. He said I am loosing control over my body, and I need a break. So I reluctantly give in.

So they do that, and put in a catheter and internal monitor on baby. I promptly fall asleep. I kept hearing the dreaded "c" (cesarean section) word, which really scared me. The hours slowly ticked by until it was June 6th. After a while I felt a lot of pressure down there. I paged the nurse who said the epidural was probably just wearing off, so I went back to sleep. But after I while I could no longer sleep, it was so uncomfortable, so she did an internal check. The baby's head was crowning!

They quickly got the doctor, and a push later Alexander was born at 2:13am. He was 7 pounds 12 ounces and 20 inches long. His head measured 13 inches and his chest 12. Very big for a preemie! I had a small tear, which required one stitch.

They laid him on me, but I couldn't enjoy the moment... I was scared of what he looked like. He was very lethargic, and blue-black! They must have realized he wasn't breathing well, because doctor whisked him away. I told Lee to go see what was going on.

Everyone left. I still couldn't move my legs because of that dumb epidural. I had never felt so empty and alone in my whole life... I started bawling! I wanted more than anything to be with my baby! Finally, about an hour later, I talked a nurse into wheeling me down in a wheelchair to see Alex. He was doing better under a warmer with oxygen. After a day in the incubator, he was doing well enough to be with me. He ended up with really bad jaundice from a massively bruised head, which I am sure is from him stuck so long in the birth canal before I pushed him out. I swore then and there that I would never have an epidural again!